Relatio-whaaaa?
So, I’ve realised. Its an odd thing when social conventions are incomprehensible in ones mind. When one THINKS that they are doing right in society, yet in fact they are doing wrong. Or percieved wrong depending on the individual. The way one was taught was initially incorrect in society and it has manifested into a further issue with said society. Only to be pointed out by members of said society to be a false inquest.
It is indeed a confusing thing when what you thought was the correct thing to do, was in fact the incorrect thing to do and your mind has the inability to comprehend this.
Today, it was my perception on relationships, love, sex and intimacy. And my lack thereof. I have always pitted myself as the unwanted, the unloveable, the ugly and the emotionally bleak. Yet is this the case? I had always perceived myself to never, in a million years get involved with anyone, not because I don’t want to, but because no one would want me.
Today, I came to the simple realisation. The only reason I feel this way is because throughout my rotations of 365.25 days I have had the firm belief that these things occur to everyone BUT me, to other people.
“They’re just things that happen to other people…” simply said in my mind.
This is why I’ve had this belief.
And it is a negative thing indeed.
I am jordan, I am 18, a virgin and has never been in a relationship. Is it my fault? maybe. Is it yours? Maybe.
It wont change anytime soon… but at least I understand now
It’s no ones fault that you haven’t had a relationship yet. The right guy for you has simply not come round the corner yet. If you tell yourself you will not be able to have a relationship with a guy because of physical appearance or because a relationship will never happen to you, are footsteps down the road of not having a relationship.
Like I’ve told you before you need to move. Expose yourself to more people, you’ll be surprised ar how many people will be drawn to you. And I was wrongnin skype, there is a lot of difference between the societies you and I live in. I apologise whole-heartedly for my mistake. But remember, good third come to those who wait…
all your blog posts are making me tear. it saddens me that you feel this way. if i were able to, i would give you the biggest hug humanly possible. no one deserves to feel this way. it may sound absurd, coming from some random internet person, but just know that i genuinely care about you.